Showery footsteps followed the image of the young
woman gazing steadily in front of the mirror. Drizzly hair dripping slowly on a
wooden floor, a rhythm emptier than eternity. A loose, carefree white shirt
embracing her body, semi-moist, fairly unbuttoned. She seems fiery, water
mixed with salty sweat, yet , those eyes, glassy from fever reflect only the
dim predawn sadness.
It seems the
years have now passed by me, yielding even themselves to the pressure of
existence, glimpsing into smiles and love -surrendering nights. Defining
myself through the heartbeat of my lover, drifting away from loneliness like
the healthy detest illness. I used to eagerly await for a sign of intimacy, turning
into an explosive dopamine source, frantically happy for being dependant on
someone, bewitched by that persisting impulse to feel tears of bliss on my
cheeks for a lifetime.
These thoughts dissolved calmly into the misty
bedroom. Behind me, the still body of that man greeted that perspective. His
hands gripping the crimson sheets in a last attempt of protection, a shameful
epiphany of a monstrous woman leaning on the bed for goodbye. Through silenced
lips lovely words never survive.
The reflection on the mirror slowly started to fade,
hiding into the humid void. Along with it, some far away sirens started making
noise.
Apparently, I am not the woman I thought I was.
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